thug ass ducks

(Source: spookyblackman)


Gary’s Sex Tips #1002

If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!


my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.

(Source: frightscrest)


Why have a thigh gap when you can thigh clap

(Source: astound)

Actual conversation at a party last night
  • Random college kid: Dude are you a real punk or a fake punk?
  • Me: I, um. I-I don't care?
  • Kid: *turns to his friend* Dude he said he doesn't care that means he's a real punk hi I'm Doug nice to meet you


If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will? 

Photos via crack two


"Oh my GOD Carl I am so done with you.”